Thursday, I had to tell my parents I probably had cancer. I can honestly say it was the hardest thing I have ever had to tell them. You could visibly see my mother’s heart break when I told her the news.
Granted – she was thinking that I was going to tell them that I was pregnant. Failing that, perhaps my relationship was in trouble, or perhaps DP had lost his job.
Cancer was not expected, and a whole lot worse.
After the initial discussion, my parents went into business mode.
Mom “So, we will look after the children on Monday while you have your test.”.
Kat “No, mom, you can’t do that”.
Mom “Why not” (bristling a little – because this is something that she CAN do, LOVES to do).
Kat “I need you to look after me”.
CRACK. There goes her heart breaking again. And the tears.
I honestly thought that my time of causing my parents pain and suffering was long over – adolescence was fun for everyone – but this is a new entire level of sadness.
I know what I’m going through. I know how my body feels. I know the uncertainty, the misery and the stress of the unknown.
And the only thing worse than going through this myself, would be to have this happening to one of my children.
So I get it. It must be brutal for them.