"Sad Face"

First SOLO day.  DP headed to work, hesitantly, leaving me at home with the kids.

The plan was that my brother and his family would bring subs for lunch, and that Grampa would bring dinner.  So I all had to do was parent the kids all day.

This was blown out of the water by a visitor just after 10am.  I said to the kids “Don’t answer the door”.  But they did.  They were sure it was going to be their uncle with lunch.  Forget that we had just had breakfast.  It was a friend.  One who doesn’t know what is going on.

Bear “My mom can’t come to the door.  She just had surgery and has crutches”.

Friend “WHAT?”

So now I have to have her in.  Because I can’t have that circulating.  I know, I know, I should have people to support me.  I know, I know, people care about me and want to help.

But the face.  The “sad face”.  I can’t deal with it.

My kids are all in the room.  She asks what is going on.  Dancer “My mom had a test to find out the type of germs in her leg”.  That is correct honey – good for you.

Friend “What kind of test?”

Biopsy.

Friend:  SAD FACE.

If you can’t pull it together, friend, you have to leave. 

Friend left, with tears in her eyes.

Kids:  What is wrong with her???

I don’t know.

I sent a message to Friend very soon after her departure, explaining that I was sorry that I kept this from her, and that I will be telling everyone very soon, but that for now, all I needed was patience and privacy.  And that I was begging her to keep this quiet.

I’m not used to begging.  But I’m not ready.  Until we know for sure.